As Vision Changes, So Does Perspective

In the last entry, I joked about my pursuit of the perfect backpack. Well, I made it back to Philly last weekend and was contemplating the wall-o-backpacks at EMS. I was excited by the external water bottle holders that would allow for dry lab notebooks and the 20% student discount WITH student ID. Which color should I get? I selected green, but it appeared more gray...That's because my second bout of optic neuritis was commencing...while buying a backpack... so that the 31-year-old student could (kind of) fit in. Geez!

Optic neuritis is a swelling of the optic nerve, caused by Multiple Sclerosis. It was my initial symptom of MS and what prompted my diagnosis eight years ago. Within a few hours, I was in the hospital so that I could get the IV meds I needed ASAP. All this during my second week of school. Ugh.

A million things ran through my mind as I came to terms with what was happening, not the least of which was, "what will my professors think of me?" Will they think I'm a slacker? What if I can't drive back to Ithaca or see to do my homework? Will they fail me? Should I drop out of school right now? I was again reminded of my own students' struggles and their emails to me explaining their extenuating circumstances. I'd wondered if I'd been too harsh with them, too "that's the way the cookie crumbles, you should have planned better." My apologies if that was the case.

At some point, I got a hold of myself and focused on the priorities. #1 was to get the medicine so that I could get physically better within a week or so. #2 was to calm down so that I could get emotionally better within the same time period. #3 was to focus on school and how I going to complete my work. (It was a team effort, by the way. My mom read dough rheology articles aloud to me, the nurses overlooked my laptop, calculator, notebooks, and textbooks as they came in to take my vital signs, and Ms. Demaray scanned my Sensory homework. Thanks!)

After listing priorities, I thought about my perspective. I couldn't see very well, yet in some ways MS helps me to see more clearly than I ever did when I was healthy. And these are things from last weekend that I will likely remember waaaay after my year of grad school has concluded: my goddaughter running up and hugging me as I'm bawling, having a hand to hold during IV insertion, eating non-vegan blueberry pancakes from Perkins in a hospital bed, my parents entering the room and not looking torn-up because, really, we're getting the hang of this MS thing.

Heavy stuff. And now, some not-so-heavy stuff...

Top 5 reasons to love your lab partner:

5. He gets your safety glasses out for you.

4. When you ask, "can I tag along with you to the food science club meeting," not only does he say, "yes," but he makes a point to stand next to you during it. (Yes, ladies and gentlemen, the first meeting of the food science club was standing room only!)

3. After you've messed up, like, 6 times and stalled the lab experiment, he finally screws up and causes a slight delay.

2. He patiently teaches you how to use the micropipet because these convenient technologies were not present in college chem labs back in the 90's.

1. He could have been your student, but he's classy enough not to verbalize this.